This past weekend, the hubs and I attended a marriage retreat that left my heart feeling full, grounded, and deeply grateful. Our speaker was relationship expert Michael Smalley, and from the moment he began speaking, you could feel his authenticity. He blended humor, real-life experiences, and hard-earned wisdom in a way that made everyone feel comfortable, seen, and understood.
At one point he joked that his life motto is:
“Life sucks… and then you die.”
And of course the room laughed — because honestly, we’ve all had seasons where that feels true.
But what struck me most wasn’t the humor. It was the honesty behind it. Michael shared pieces of his own journey — including heartbreak, rebuilding, and learning through painful seasons. He spoke not from theory, but from lived experience. And that kind of honesty carries weight.
Because life does bring heartbreak. Disappointments happen. Hard seasons come. But those moments don’t break us — they shape us.
That is what the second act is all about.
We go through things. We carry burdens. We face seasons we never expected.
And somehow, through grace and perseverance, we emerge stronger, wiser, and more anchored in purpose. Listening to his stories reminded me that none of us are walking a perfect path — we are walking a purposeful one. And we are here for a reason.
One of the most meaningful lessons we took away was the importance of emotional safety and healthy boundaries. Setting boundaries is not about pushing people away — it is about protecting connection, honoring respect, and creating space for relationships to thrive. It was reassuring to be reminded that it is not only okay to set boundaries, but that doing so strengthens trust and love. Growth in the second act looks less like perfection and more like grace, patience… and the occasional deep sigh.
He also recommended the book Created for Connection by Dr. Sue Johnson, which focuses on strengthening relationships through emotional connection and intentional love.
Its message aligns beautifully with what we learned: we are created for connection — with our spouse, with others, and with God.
Throughout the weekend, I felt a quiet tug on my heart — a reminder that investing in our marriage is not only important, it is sacred work. In the busyness of life, it can be easy to assume connection will maintain itself. But connection, like faith, requires intention, presence, and care.
This time away reminded me to slow down. To listen more. To choose connection over distraction. To protect what God has entrusted to us.
I also loved the sense of community we experienced. I met some wonderful people from the church, and everyone was so welcoming and kind. It felt like being surrounded by encouragement, warmth, and shared purpose — a reminder that we are not meant to walk this journey alone.
More than anything, this weekend felt like confirmation that we are on the right path. It was a gentle reminder to stay intentional, stay connected, and continue growing together in faith and love.
Love is not just a feeling.
It is showing up. It is listening. It is choosing each other again and again. And maybe… it’s also laughing together when life gets hard, because sometimes humor is what carries us through.
I am grateful for the time we set aside, the wisdom we gained, and the renewed commitment we brought home with us. Because strong marriages don’t happen by accident.
They grow through grace, intentional love, and the courage to stay connected.
“We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” — Romans 5:3-4
The start of a new year always makes me pause—not to judge myself, but to gently look back at how far I’ve come.
This past year wasn’t about perfection. It was about intention.
I made changes that felt small at first, but over time, they added up in ways I’m really proud of. I quit fast food. I drink less soda. I make healthier food choices daily—not because I have to, but because I want to take better care of my heart and my body.
One of the biggest shifts for me wasn’t physical at all. I stopped letting the scale define my worth. Instead, I pay attention to how my clothes fit, how my body feels, and how I move through my day. Strength, comfort, energy, and confidence matter more to me now than a number ever could.
I’m still doing the work—especially when it comes to body dysmorphia. Some days are easier than others. I’m learning to be kinder to myself, to stop overanalyzing photos, mirrors, and reflections that don’t tell the full story of who I am. I remind myself that healing isn’t linear, and progress doesn’t have to be loud to be real.
As I step into this new year, my goal isn’t to be “better” in the way the world defines it. My goal is to continue choosing habits that support my heart, my health, and my happiness. To listen to my body. To move with intention. To nourish myself—physically and emotionally.
And just as importantly, I want to keep encouraging others to do the same.
Not by telling anyone what they should do, but by reminding them that small, consistent choices matter. That your journey doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. That caring for your health is an act of self-love, not punishment.
Here’s to a new year filled with grace, growth, and gentle progress. May we continue choosing ourselves, celebrating the small wins, and leading with compassion—for our hearts and for one another.
Today, I woke up with every intention of hitting the gym, getting my heart pumping, and sticking to my workout plan. But as I stretched and started my morning, my body whispered something I couldn’t ignore: “Take a rest.”
I’ll admit it—I struggled with the idea. Skipping a workout? Was I slacking off? But then I remembered: rest days are just as important as workout days. So, I decided to listen. Instead of lacing up my sneakers, I allowed myself to sleep in, reset, and truly relax. And you know what? I woke up feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day.
Rest is not a sign of weakness. It’s your body’s way of reminding you that recovery is essential for both physical and mental health. Whether you’re a seasoned athlete or just starting a fitness journey, it’s okay to take a step back when your body needs it. Overworking yourself can lead to burnout, fatigue, and even injury—none of which help you reach your goals.
So, if you’re feeling tired, worn out, or just in need of a break, don’t feel guilty about taking time for yourself. Rest is an essential part of the journey. When you honor your body’s needs, you set yourself up for even greater success tomorrow.
Today, my heart needed rest, and I’m so glad I listened. How do you give yourself permission to pause?
Let me take a moment to share a glimpse into my ongoing journey toward better health and wellness. It’s been quite the ride, filled with ups, downs, and everything in between. But through it all, one thing remains constant: my commitment to honesty and openness.
You see, I’ve never been one to shy away from sharing my struggles. Whether it’s battling through tough times or celebrating small victories, I believe in the power of sharing our stories. Because somewhere out there, someone might be going through the same thing, feeling a little less alone knowing they’re not the only one.
Now, let’s talk about weight loss. Ah, yes, the perpetual rollercoaster ride that it is. For years, I relied on the tried-and-true formula of diet and exercise, expecting the pounds to effortlessly melt away. But as the years passed and I gracefully aged (or so I like to think), I began to realize that what once worked like magic wasn’t quite as effective anymore.
So here I am, embracing the reality that sometimes our bodies need a little extra TLC. And that’s where my wonderful dietician comes in. Together, we’re unraveling the mysteries of my metabolism, making small tweaks here and there to keep things fresh and exciting.
And guess what? It’s working! Since October, I’ve bid farewell to 10 stubborn pounds, thanks to the guidance and support of my dietician. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t always see the changes myself. Body dysmorphia has a sneaky way of clouding our perception. But when my colleagues started noticing a difference, I couldn’t ignore the evidence staring back at me in those comparison photos.
But let’s talk about something important: body positivity. It’s a beautiful concept, one that I wholeheartedly support. I firmly believe that we should love and embrace our bodies, regardless of their shape or size. But for me, this journey isn’t about conforming to society’s standards or pleasing anyone else. It’s about finding my own version of health and happiness, whatever that may look like.
So please, let’s remember that everyone’s journey is unique. What works for one person may not work for another, and that’s perfectly okay. My hope is to inspire others to embark on their own paths to wellness, whatever that may entail.
So here’s to honesty, openness, and the beautiful messiness of it all. Let’s keep shining our light and supporting each other every step of the way.
Frustration consumes me as I grapple with the reality of gaining weight despite my relentless efforts. I’m committed to working out five to six days a week, walking three miles each day, and maintaining a relatively healthy diet, with the occasional indulgence in fries and chicken wings on weekends.
This journey, initiated for the sake of heart health, takes an unexpected turn as high blood pressure joins the ranks of pre-diabetes and hormone issues. At 50, I find it challenging to adapt to the fact that what once worked seamlessly no longer produces the same results.
Accepting my age is one thing; adjusting to new health diagnoses is another. Despite consulting with a nutritionist who assures me that I’m on the right path, frustration lingers as the scale remains unyielding. I share my story not only to uplift but to unveil the raw reality of my experience—the good, the bad, and the ugly.
In this vulnerable moment, I confess the struggle and seek solace in the hope that my efforts will eventually bear fruit. My journey reflects the resilience required when faced with unexpected health challenges, and I hope that by sharing the highs and lows, I can inspire others on a similar path to persevere and continue reaching for a heart-healthy future.
Today, I want to open up and share my personal journey of battling body dysmorphia, a struggle that has affected me deeply. It’s Bridget here, and I’ve come to realize that the way I feel about myself is often far from how others see me. Particularly when clothes don’t fit, it triggers a wave of depression that engulfs me. But fear not, for this is also a tale of resilience and growth, as I strive to cultivate a more positive self-image and learn to love my true self.
The Power of Perception:
Have you ever looked in the mirror and felt as though the reflection staring back at you was a distorted version of reality? That’s how I often feel. It’s like an ongoing battle between my mind and the mirror. No matter how hard I try, negative thoughts overpower any shred of positivity. The struggle with body dysmorphia creates this relentless internal dialogue that tells me I’m not enough, that I don’t measure up to the unrealistic standards set by society.
Embracing Self-Love and Positivity:
I refuse to let body dysmorphia define me or determine my self-worth. It’s a constant uphill climb, but I’m determined to break free from the clutches of self-doubt. I’ve started actively challenging these destructive thoughts, replacing them with self-affirmation and gratitude. I remind myself of my unique qualities, acknowledging the strength and beauty that reside within me. It’s a gradual process, but I’m learning to be more compassionate and kind to myself.
Supportive Networks:
I’ve been incredibly fortunate to have a supportive network of friends and family who lift me up when I’m feeling down. They provide a safe space for me to share my struggles and offer their unwavering love and encouragement. Opening up about body image and mental health has strengthened our bonds, fostering understanding and empathy. Together, we break down the walls of silence and stigma, creating a foundation for healing.
Seeking Professional Help:
I’ve come to realize that I can’t navigate this journey alone. Seeking professional help has been an important step towards reclaiming my self-confidence. Through therapy, I’ve gained valuable insights into the underlying causes of my body dysmorphia. My therapist equips me with effective coping strategies and helps me reframe my negative self-perceptions. It’s liberating to have a trained professional guide me on this path to self-acceptance.
Cultivating Body Positivity:
In my quest for self-acceptance, I’ve stumbled upon the empowering concept of body positivity. I now understand that beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, and forms. To immerse myself in this movement, I actively seek out body-positive communities, follow inclusive social media accounts, and surround myself with uplifting messages. By celebrating diversity and appreciating the uniqueness of my own body, I’m gradually breaking free from the chains of self-judgment.
To my fellow warriors battling body dysmorphia, remember that you are not alone. I’m on this journey alongside you, determined to embrace my true self and overcome the challenges that lie ahead. Despite the depression that washes over me when clothes don’t fit, I’m learning to separate my self-worth from external validation. Together, let’s rewrite the narrative of our self-perception and redefine what it means to be beautiful. We deserve love, compassion, and a positive body image.
So, my dear friends, let’s embrace our true selves, for we are stunning works of art, inside and out.
We all have days where we lack motivation, and it’s okay to feel that way. But when it lingers on and on, it can start affecting our daily lives. If you’re finding yourself not motivated lately, don’t worry, you’re not alone. This is a common issue faced by many people, and it can be hard to overcome.
I understand the importance of being motivated in all aspects of life, whether it’s work, relationships, or personal growth. That’s why I am here to share some tips and tricks to help you get out of your motivational slump.
Identify the root cause: Sometimes, a lack of motivation can stem from deeper issues like stress, anxiety, or depression. Take some time to reflect and identify what could be causing your lack of motivation. Once you’ve identified the root cause, it’s easier to address and overcome it.
Break down your goals: Big goals can often seem overwhelming, and it’s easy to lose motivation when you feel like you’re not making progress. Break down your goals into smaller, achievable tasks, and focus on completing them one by one. Celebrate each small win, and it’ll help you stay motivated.
Find inspiration: Surround yourself with inspiration, whether it’s in the form of motivational quotes, books, or people who uplift you. Sometimes all it takes is a little inspiration to get you motivated and moving.
Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself is essential for maintaining motivation. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating healthy, and exercising regularly. Also, take time out to do things that you enjoy and make you feel good.
Create a routine: Having a routine can help you stay organized and motivated. Plan out your day, set goals, and stick to a schedule. It’ll help you stay on track and get things done.
Remember, everyone has days where they lack motivation, and that’s okay. The important thing is to not let it linger and affect your overall wellbeing. Take small steps towards regaining your motivation and focus on progress rather than perfection. I believe in you, and we’re here to support you every step of the way.
It has taken me awhile to form my thoughts in order to write this blog post, I did not know Stephen “Twitch” Boss But his passing lingers for me. He was always smiling and full of life while he was on social media dancing with his wife or kids. And I think that is what stays with me the most, those that seem the happiest can be in their darkest moments. We are only seeing a glimpse of what someone wants us to see. We need to remember that depression does not have a certain “look”. Just because someone is showing us on social media the perfect life does not mean they feel they have the perfect life or feel perfect. We all have different stresses in life and all handle it differently. Some of us keep our feelings in and are not comfortable sharing with others. Sometime the strongest people have the hardest time sharing their feelings.
I talk alot about my journey and about the physical and it is so important to remember the mental part too. If we are not taking care of our mental health then the we are only fighting half the battle. Just know you are not alone, you are loved and there are people out there that are here to help.
Please remember to lean on your friends or family and talk to someone about how you are feeling. Whether you are the one struggling or if you have a loved one and don’t know what to do, I am here , to listen, to talk or to just go take a walk to get out. Don’t fight this fight alone because please if you take anything away from this long winded ramble of a post, YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND YOU ARE LOVED!
This post contains reflections from the early days of my health journey. I am leaving them here as a reminder that growth is not linear and transformation takes time.
November 14, 2022
Vacation! Who doesn’t love to just get away from it all? Away from the day to day, same old routine. Vacation is the thing that helps us reenergize and reward ourselves for all our hard work all year. I look forward to the special time off and the people I spend it with. the problem for me is I am getting away from my day to day routine , I know I stated in the beginning that is what I love about vacation but I don’t know about you once I get out of my routine it takes me another week or so after my vacation to really get back into my routine again. I find reasons why I can skip a workout, or can eat that junk, “there’s always tomorrow”. I know it shouldn’t matter and as long as I am staying true to myself that is all that matters, but I end up feeling guilt later.
I shouldn’t feel guilty but that is not how my brain works. I know a few
missed days shouldn’t matter but I get down on myself, Even though I know I
will get back into it. Anyone else feel this way?
We need to remember that vacation
is important for our mental health it
helps us reset our minds and bodies from our daily routines. We shouldn’t feel
guilty about getting away. And we shouldn’t feel guilty when it takes us a few
extra days to get back into our routine. I am working on this.
Aug 6, 2022
As I continue this journey I am on I learn new things everyday. 4 months ago I started with a personal trainer to help me get over the rut I was in and it has definitely changed the way I think so much. Before I was all about getting in as much cardio as possible and burning as many calories as I could in a workout. Then not fueling my body enough by not eating enough throughout the day. Working with my trainer it has been nice to have someone give me workouts that focus on all different muscles of my body . Also having my trainer give me delicious meals to eat daily is great. I was for sure not eating enough and now I am even eating breakfast daily! She has me eating every couple of hours through out the day and I am not going to lie, it’s nice not having to think about what I am going to eat or plan my own workouts. Not that I cannot do my own prepping or workouts but I seem to thrive when someone else tells me what to eat and what to do. I don’t get bored with my workouts anymore, and my food menu changes weekly so again I don’t get bored with my meals. I am still not trying to focus on the scale that is my kryptonite and only focus on how I feel, I have more energy, I am fitting into more clothes I haven’t worn in a while, basically I feel great. And obviously not everyone can go out and hire a personal trainer and that is not the purpose of what I am saying, the point of this is to mix it up change your routine, don’t get stuck in the day to day. Don’t be afraid to make changes. I am learning that I thrive with change.
April 29,2022
There are times we have to just push pause. My last post in March I was very frustrated with my weight loss journey, things were not going the way I wanted them to and I thought I had found the answer but I just kept losing and gaining the same pound. I said in the beginning of starting this journey that I am no expert and that I do not have the answers , everything I have shared along this journey I have learned from experts I have met along the way or read from the internet. So when I am at a loss of course I turned to those that know best , I hired an expert. Again I am not trying to lose weight to be a fitness model or anything crazy like that I just want to be healthy. So I hired a personal trainer to help me with my food preparation and to revamp my exercise. I love my Peloton bike but I need to change things up and get my body out of the rut it is in. After talking with my personal trainer I have realized I am not eating enough. I was actually slowing my metabolism down, I needed to actually eat more and jump start my metabolism.
It has been so helpful and it is nice not having to plan my meals, I do have to cook them all but its nice to have them all thought out for me.
I am excited to see how the next few weeks work out, I am still trying not to be addicted to the scale or care what that number says- that is easier said then done, but I am taking baby steps and trying to focus more on how my clothes fit. I know I could put the scale away and it would be easier to ignore it but then I would just end up pulling the scale out all the time- again baby steps. So moral of this post it is ok to ask for help.
March 10,2022
Sometimes we can do all the right things, we can eat all the right foods, and still we do not see the changes we want. Let me explain, I was talking with a friend the other day, complaining actually, I eat healthy I very rarely eat fast food, and I do my workouts every day but yet the scale never moves. And I know I preach how the number on the scale does not define who we are and it doesn’t. I have made alot of peace with the scale these days, I no longer look at the scale as the enemy that I need to fight, more as an overall guide. But my frustration was that I make very healthy food choices and do my daily workouts, if any other person did my daily routine they would drop 10 – 15 pounds quick. I needed to think outside the box this time , I think my body just adapted to my daily routine and so I needed to make a change. I am of course still making healthy choices ( I pretty much eat the same thing all week ) But now I try to eat every couple of hours so I prepare small snacks to eat like a hard boiled egg, cheese, protein shake , peanut butter and then a larger meal for my dinner usually a salad which is very filling. Then I changed up my workout routine to two times a day, instead of a 40 minute workout once a day, I now do 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes after work. I actually sleep better and feel better doing this surprisingly. Surprise surprise after doing this that stubborn scale is actually moving!! So the point of my rambling is don’t be afraid of making a change if something isn’t working, shake things up, try something new, never give up, keep pushing forward and reaching for your goal the point of it all is that you are making healthy choices right?
December 25, 2021
As this year comes to an end I am feeling unfinished, unfinished in my goals I set and in myself. I’m not sure when but some where along my journey I have been derailed. I mean, I know what I am supposed to do, I have the tools I have the knowledge but somehow I have seemed to have lost my mojo. I can give advice and guidance all day to someone else and build them up but doing it for myself seems to be lacking these days
I have given myself until Christmas for the pity party. I have to remember we all fall off the health journey wagon and that’s ok. I just need to regroup – restock my fridge correctly and get back on track. No more excuses about how it’s cold outside ( I workout inside ) so I need to get my workouts back on track. I have to remember why I am doing this – to be healthier for myself and my family. As I spent time with my family for the holidays I was reminded of this and it inspired me even more to get back on my health journey.
So I will no longer look in the mirror at myself and feel depressed that I don’t “ look the way I want to” but I will look in the mirror and be inspired by that woman staring back at me. She is strong and fierce and is ready to take on the health world ?
November 8,2021
It’s just a tiny square with numbers, why do we let it dictate how we feel about ourselves? I had a big epiphany this weekend when it comes to the scale and how I let it cloud how it makes me feel about how I look. I struggle constantly with what that number “should” say. I don’t know why. I have been spending the last few weeks tied to the scale. I know better of course. I am letting a number dictate how I feel about myself and how I think I look and it has been making me feel less about myself. Again, I ask why? I’m working out and eating healthy but I am stuck on the fact that the scale just does not move. This weekend I put on a dress I have not worn since July and it actually fit better now then it did 5 months ago. Also, the other dress I wore fit like a glove and looked amazing! I felt great and did not feel like the sausage the scale tells me I am. So this is where I have decided that the scale is a liar, it tricks us daily. Everyday I jump on this square looking for it to tell me how worthy I am in my workouts and every day it lies to me. It tells me I am not doing good enough , I am not working hard enough and I need to do better. How does it do this? By never moving that number. The funny thing is, I know better, I know its just a number and that I should be measuring myself with a tape measure to see how many inches I have lost not pounds.
My point is your worth is not defined by a number on a scale. Your worth is defined by YOU. Just you not your weight or your size, I know we get stuck in these cycles and sometimes we feel down on ourselves because we feel we are not doing enough. To that I say did you wake up today? Did you do something for yourself today? Were you kind to others? Then that was a successful day.
As for me I will remember that as long as I am true to myself and remember that I am making healthy choices daily it doesn’t matter what that silly scale says.
September 4, 2021
Why is it so easy to put weight on than it is to take it off? I had been doing really good on my health journey, I had a goal to focus on ( My pageant in July) and that kept me on track. I went to my pageant and felt really good about everything, even placed in the top 10 🙂 Then we came home and I went a little off the rails. I decided it was ok to go off track for a bit, I deserved it after all I worked so hard for so long. This is where I tell myself its ok a few days won’t hurt. But it’s never a few days and its never just a couple of bad meals. I quickly put 8 pounds back on. None of my clothes fit right again and I started to get down on myself. I was not depressed or anything. I just convinced myself it was ok because I worked so hard I deserved a break.
I can honestly say I enjoy getting up and starting my day with my Peloton workout. I feel so energized after and each weekend when I meal prep my food I know I have given myself more time during the week to not have to think about what I am going to eat. Now that I have gotten myself back on track and focused again, I have shed 6 pounds. Not that it was about the pounds it was about feeling healthy again.
I am the kind of person that needs structure I thrive on it. It is what makes me function better. When it is missing I feel that I am lacking something. The point of this is to ask yourself is what helps you function better? How can you make your week better and help you thrive?
May 29, 2021
Personal perception can play tricks with your mind sometimes, and if you don’t keep yourself in a good headspace it can really mess with you. I say this because every once and a while we all have that moment where we look at a photo or a video of ourselves and say “do I look like that”? Last month I saw a video of myself and had this thought, and it’s crazy, it messes with you for a moment and you have to really remind yourself that it is almost like looking in a fun house mirror, it’s just a bad angle. I took these amazing pictures earlier in the day and felt so glamourous in my dress and then later that night I saw this video of myself in the dress and instantly thought, Oh Dear! Why on earth did I wear that? I look awful and it took me a couple of days to get my mind back into focus to realize I was being silly. Why was I letting a video let me feel so low? I felt gorgeous in that dress before that and I needed to remind myself of that. I could easily slip into a negative space and immediately over think this. Am I working out enough? Am I eating healthy enough? Thankfully I have such a wonderful circle of people that I surround myself with so that I do not slip into that dark negative space for very long. They keep me motivated and remind me everyday that I am always enough. I don’t workout to be a supermodel, I workout so that I can be healthy for my family and my amazing circle of friends that remind me everyday I am a fierce force. It’s not about being perfect, it’s always about being my best self. I am my best self when I acknowledge my flaws and accept them for what they are and then use those “flaws” as assets.
April 23,2021
So it’s been a minute since I have written but don’t think it’s because I have fallen off of the healthy journey path. This is not the case actually it is the opposite. I have been so excited and involved with my new “toy” I just haven’t had time to post about it. I bought a Peloton!! (not sponsored) I am loving the cycling classes and being able to workout and take these classes whenever I want to is so much fun! It has seriously changed my whole mindset. I start every day with a great work out and then my mind and body is so ready for the day and that’s really what I want to write about today. Getting ourselves in a good headspace. We get so caught up in our day to day lives making sure we take care of others and get all the bills paid and go to work sometimes we forget to make sure we are taking care of ourselves as well. For me taking care of myself IS going into my workout room and putting on my cycling shoes and sweating out all the negative that is dragging me down. It’s also spending time with my “circle of people” and going out and doing the things I love in my community. Of course steak night with the husband also helps 🙂 I know it is tough when we are feeling down from all that we have gone through this past year and sometimes we just can’t seem to pull ourselves out of it. But please know you are not alone, you are loved and there are people out there that are here to help. I remember when my daughter was a teenager and going through depression and suicidal thoughts. It was a very tough time and while I was trying to do all I could for her. I could never really understand the scope of what she was going through. All I could do is sit by her side and just let her know I was there , I felt helpless, but honestly I was not helpless I just didn’t know where to turn to for help and what people that I myself could talk to so that I could maybe understand her pain better. Had I talked with someone who had gone through this I feel I would have been been better equipped to know what to do for her, other than just sit next to her while she sat in a hospital bed waiting to be evaluated .. again… because she wanted to hurt herself. I am fortunate, my daughter is still fighting the fight and getting help and learning how to deal with her depression. I have friends who have not been so lucky and I want to there and let them know I am here , whether you are the one struggling or if you have a loved one and don’t know what to do, I am here , to listen, to talk to just go take a walk to get out. Don’t fight this fight alone because please if you take anything away from this long winded ramble of a post, YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND YOU ARE LOVED!
February 28, 2021
We all go through lulls, those moments where we know we are doing everything correctly, but the results are not showing. I am currently in a lull, I get up, I do my workouts, I hit my eating targets, but it is not showing on the scale ( yes I finally stepped on it ) and I feel it isn’t showing physically. So what is a girl to do? Time to change it up. I think the problem is my body is not the only one in lull so are my workouts. I do the same workouts most days and I think my body is no longer responding to what i am doing. Plus I was finding it wasn’t a fun workout anymore, I was just doing it because I needed to workout. I need to change it up, make it fun again. I am only 2 days in but i am looking forward to workouts again and when I do that I make better choices when I eat. I keep better track and actually eat ON TIME. I think that is my biggest timing, I need to remember to eat at the proper times. My work schedule doesn’t allow me to do a normal breakfast lunch and dinner time. So I need to be better at adjusting the time to fit MY schedule. I’m working on it and I have spoke to a nutritionist to help me focus on that.
So if you if you feeling stagnant take a look at what you can change up, if you workout indoors try a few outdoor workouts, change up your meal prep, do something to shake it up. Me, I am trying dance workouts, and while I have two left feet and am totally uncoordinated I am having so much fun with my workouts and really that’s what it’s all about.
January 24,2021
New year new goals right? Sometimes we feel we are going strong and are making all the correct choices and the all of the sudden bam! you get hit with some news that makes you question what you are doing, am I making healthy choices for myself? What am I doing wrong? I am on the struggle bus at the moment and can’t figure out my slump. If you are trying to figure out what I am talking about my doctor recently told me that my glucose levels are slightly elevated and I need to cut back on carbs. I have a hard time accepting this news. I am gluten intolerant therefore I find it easier to not eat the things I used to love like pasta and bread. Basically the simple carbs
Soda ( ok I do enjoy a Diet Dr Pepper.. I am working on this )
Candy
Cookies
Pastries and desserts
Sweetened beverages, such as lemonade or iced tea
Energy drinks
Ice cream
I do try to eat more complex carbs
Brown and wild rices
Quinoa
Potatoes
Corn
Legumes, such as black beans, chickpeas, lentils, and others
While I know there are carbs in vegetables and even the string cheese snack I eat, I am eating less carbs than I would be if I was eating breads or pasta etc. Now all I can think , is it what I am eating and if so what am I eating that is causing this elevation? Or do I continue the path I have been on.. maybe my level was higher when my weight was higher and now it has lowered. How would I know? I didn’t exactly do a before test . I can talk with a nutritionist make sure I am making healthy choices for myself and just go from there.
I guess my point is we put so much weight in these numbers , what the scale says what the lab work says and while I know these things do matter , I know that I continue to make healthy choices for myself, will I be more aware of serving sizes? Most definitely I think that is where I am falling short. I used to measure out my servings with my scale and then I started “eyeballing” it. So I will set my goal this month to be more aware of portion sizes so that my food tracking is accurate.
So morale of todays blog post is not to let something like lab work from the doctor derail you. Last night I was definitely questioning myself, and I am sure I am not alone, But I know I am making healthy choices for myself and making positive changes. This is a marathon not a sprint, it will take time and patience don’t rush it.
December 27,2020
I was going to wait until the new year to write another post but then I thought, why? 2020 has been a year of doing things differently. So instead of waiting until the new year to write and update or start another goal, I am ending 2020 on a high note. My goal this year was to make it through the holidays without going overboard with my eating or giving myself the usual excuse of “it’s the holidays”. I am happy to say I made it through Thanksgiving easy, did not over eat and still kept up with my workouts. As for Christmas I allowed myself a break on workouts, I still did some but I was not a strict. Normally I would feel guilt for missing workouts but because I did not overindulge with my eating I still feel great. I am doing my best to keep off my scale and not let the number it say define me. This is hard for me. It’s one of my biggest challenges so far but I have to keep telling myself it is not abut the number its about how you feel and right now and I feel great ! I told myself starting in the new year I would also start running again, Why am I waiting? So today I laced up my running shoes and ran 3 miles. It felt great! All the fears I had of any aches or pains I would feel or that I would not be able to make the full run all just drifted away with each step I took. I was surprised that as I continued to run I felt I could keep going maybe even go 4 miles. But I also know that I have not run in a while, and even though I have been doing walks and workouts at home I didn’t want to push myself too much on day 1 and then not be able to run tomorrow. Running today reminded me how much I love it, not because I am a great runner, let’s be real I am not running an 8 minute mile. I run because I love the feeling it gives me, the peace I get. It allows me to get out of my head and just let the music wash over me. I don’t think about work, family, my pets, bills, I just listen to the music and the sound of my feet on the ground. It is so refreshing and cleansing. I believe this is something we all need something that allows us the freedom to not think, to have our own time and space to just be and not have anything or anyone interfere. I always feel great after a run.
I am so glad I did not wait until the new year to start running again. If there is something you are waiting to start, a meal change, a workout even if it’s just to drink more water, you don’t have to wait for a resolution to start
November 21, 2020
It’s funny how one little square on the floor can be so intimidating. Everyday I tell myself I will not step on it, that it doesn’t matter what the number on this square says. But I find that I am curious, am I staying on track? Did I lose any weight? Did I eat too much yesterday? Did I overdo it on the carbs or sweets? I know I didn’t and that I am doing my best to continue my healthy journey and the biggest part of that for me is the mental one. The one where my mind is focused and clear and does not get over run with the unhealthy thoughts. I know many of us struggle with this. I struggle with the guilt of missing workouts because of a hectic work week, When I know that as long as I am still staying on track with my eating I am ok. But sometimes my mind doesn’t work that way. I still struggle with not letting the scale rule my thoughts. I tell myself not to step on it, yet I still do. I know it would be easy to put it away, out of sight out of mind, but I am trying to not let this little square run my life. I want to let this square sit on my floor and be able to pass by it without even thinking about it, I know I will get there. As the holidays approach I have told myself that I will continue doing my best to make healthy decisions and get my workouts in and not beat myself up for the things I cannot control. This journey is about being healthy and that is both mind and body. So this year as we make new year resolutions I will be making mine. It will be to continue to make choices that make me happy and to focus on the things I can control. Also its just a scale it does not define me or my accomplishments.
October 17,2020 Well since I started this journey in June I have lost 12 pounds. While this journey is about being healthy and losing weight is a part of that I don’t just want to focus on the pounds. Don’t get me wrong I am so proud of the work I have done so far and the pounds I have lost, but I am more proud of how I have done it. Like I said when I started this it wasn’t about crazy diets or strict workouts or just “being skinny”. This is about me and my everyday life trying to be to healthy and focus on how I can balance my love of food and how I can incorporate that into a healthy lifestyle so I don’t fall back into this up and down of gaining weight and losing weight. Also, my family has history of heart disease so I need to make sure that I am taking care of myself so I am not at risk for a stroke or heart attack. So I will repeat I am proud of those 12 pounds lost, that is 12 pounds less that is weighing on my body and dragging it down. But I am actually proud of the fact that I have been consistent in my efforts to just love myself and continue to not be negative if I miss a workout. That positivity is what keeps me going and helps me remember why I am doing this…. For me.
September 26, 2020
June 26, 2020 So this is me, 46 years old trying my best to find a balance between everyday life and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. As with everything sometimes the scales tip a little too far to one side and we find ourselves off balance. I want to journal my journey as I get myself back on track and work to lose this crazy weight I put on. I am not a health expert nor am I a fitness expert. But I love to workout and I love to eat which makes it that much harder to find that balance. I just wanted to write this so others can see it is not about the perfect body, for me its about trying to eat healthy and still not denying myself the things I still love. This is not going to be about crazy diets to follow or strict workouts, this is me, realistic, raw and unfiltered trying my best to get through my day to day and maybe just maybe I will inspire another person to start a journey of their own.
